Thoughts of death lately seem to fill my mind, clock watching for gate keepers occupies my time, dark thoughts so suffocating, swallowing the shine, sadness behind the biggest smiles, standard answer, I’m fine,
It’s my choice to suffer in silence, all who care have tried their best, carry the world upon my shoulders, yet can’t seem to lift this weight upon my chest, well put together on the surface, yet beneath I am a mess, the long sleep grows more appealing, if I may, I must confess,
Do more, say less, pats on the back, they’re so impressed, always giving and giving has left me stressed, all these expectations of my best have left me without rest, as I spiral through a hornets nest of intrusive thoughts I can’t digest, but I’m needed so I must digress, your love is the only reason all hope hasn’t died yet…
Coffee and a cigarette on a lazy Sunday morning, the cool breeze gives me goosebumps, what a beautiful day dawning
The sweet smell of pancakes fills the house with such delight, the sun smiles from the horizon, filling the sky with amber light
We all sit at the table, but mom seems unstable, like stuck in a nightmarish Brothers Grimm fable, her hands start to shiver as she grips on the knife, dad stares as he ponders what’s wrong with his wife
He notices, she is not wearing her ring and something seems kind of off with her skin, I whisper to Dad ‘I think it’s time to go’ but mother let’s out a resounding NO!
She clenches her fists with a sinister smile, ‘You won’t be going anywhere for a while…’ ‘Now sit down and eat everything that I’ve made, the pancakes, the eggs and the toast marmalade, Drink all of the coffee, I don’t care if it’s hot, I’ve got roasted veggies and meat in the pot’,
‘I want it all gone and don’t you dare say that you’re full’ and right there mothers mouth began to drool, I looked over at dad, frozen in fear, what’s going on with mother, her motives unclear,
I reach for a knife, eyes fixed on my mother, it’s almost afternoon, but I haven’t heard from my brother…
If you feel brave enough to dive in to Mothers mind, I would love to hear an ending to the story/poem in the comments…
I can not be the only lonely soul drifting through existence, a face in the crowd with my head in the clouds, the persistence of distance consistent
I can not be the most hollow of hearts on a path traveled by so many, we walk side by side yet held hostage by pride, show contempt so contently I resent thee
I can not be the most morbid of minds in a world so full of sorrows, haunted by your death as you took your last breath, for tomorrows not promised just borrowed